Queen of Stupid...

I felt so good this morning, BP up to 110/62, made a jello salad, then outside to water a few potted plants, then decided to pull some dandelions which were huge & easy to pull as it has been raining here for several days.... (you know where this is going, right?)
DH came out & pulled some thistles, we piled into 2 wheel barrows, and .... I hit that wall... I could barely make it up the hill (50 steps) into the house... BP had dropped to 72/52... my firend thinks the vicodin masked the fatigue till too late, but only taken one every 6 hours ... this was the problem BEFORE the replacement... hitting the wall & really low BP. ( Normally I am 106/63 so it runs low anyway...) So feel like I qualify for Queen of Stupid or something! Now afraid that the symptoms are not related to PM and more to do with the heart failure....

3 Comments

Thanx Sparrow

by sunny@heart - 2013-06-22 11:06:17

i am not in pain with the new incisions... or anywhere, really....been icing the incisison and the last vicodinI took was 10:30 this am... the site is just a dull ache...
it was the low BP that upset me... I thot that it was from the battery weakening, now thinking maybe not & something else going on.... just so tired of being sick & thot I could be normal again....I have had so many long term issues with my heart since 2001 and then my Dh had a stroke in 09 & he is slowly recovering... my fear has been that something would happen to me & what would he do? Guess I feel stupid to get my hopes up like that.... again... hoping to feel "normal " again & get to have a"normal" life again.
"The wall" is just an invisible barrier that keeps me from keeping on... it can happen preparing dinner or standing too long or after a shower... I never know when...
I also have the CRD with defibrillator, but not much help now... in the beginning it was.... but the a-fib & leaking valve further weakened my heart thus worsening the heart failure...
The hard thing for me is to realize when I am pushing... there is no warning sign.... I just start to do something & there is a wall... it wasn't there 20 min. ago, or 30 minutes ago...but then it's there...
sorry you are having such a bad afternoon... what is impacting your vision? It's so frightening to have vision loss... I didn't notice any spelling errors... and even if I did, so what??? Thanx for the support!

I too have the energy problems

by kathykat11 - 2013-06-23 04:06:24

things i used to do in one fell swoop of 45 minutes now have to be broken down to 3 different days with breaks during my activity. I tried pushing it the other day and ended up not even being able to put the mower away for 6 hours. I staggered when i walke and since I take diuretics staggering down the hall resulted in bruises on both shoulders you can only hit the same spot so many times without getting a bruise. I knew better when I felt pooed than to try to do one more pass and just finish for the day. by pushing too hard I ended up not being able to do anything for the rest of the day. Everyone is different, It is kind of like going through puberty on a daily basis you never know from one day to the next how your body and or emotions are going to act. Some days I have all kinds of energy and then I crap out and others I wake up with no energy to start with life is a crap shoot for me and i am just learning the new rules. the nice part about it is I look at least my age and I can get away with being eccentric now before I was just weird. I stop where I run out of gas and don't move until I feel able to under my own power. I don't get embarrassed by my failings anymore I did nothing to cause what is wrong with me. I only get embarrassed by things that are my own stupidity. Cut yourself some slack and enjoy the fact that you can get back up eventually.

Thanx Sparrow & Kathykat

by sunny@heart - 2013-06-23 06:06:32

Appreciate so much both your comments & so nice to feel connected to others who understand...I realized after reading both of your thoughtful responses that it boils down to "I have a problem accepting reality!" Reality is I have heart failure, kidney failure, fight anemia, need, need, need a PM to help my heart beat plus I am 74!!! Geez, Louise!!
I don't want to be "lazy" but good grief! I have earned the right to be as" lazy" ( or take care of myself ) as I need to be.
So am talking with myself & helping me see that as kathy said...." I did nothing to to cause what is wrong with me,"and I can cut myself some slack!! And to realize that the heart failure may be worsening in spite of all my precautions and medical interventions....
And Sparrow, I have done my advanced directive & daughters will care for their dad if I'm not here...
So thanx again ladies for the heart to heart chats... they helped!
Sunny

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