all new reference points

Hi Everyone,

This my first contact I have had since my surgury 2wks ago. I talked to family and friends about how I feel totally different. I feel like II finally and maybe for the first time. Looking in hindsight I may have started to have this as a teen but since it wasn't constant and only slightly a problem (ya only slightly< hmmph)I wasn't even checked for it. My friends laughed at me for walking as if drunk and having to look down at my feet to walk. For about a decade I thought it was just me or that I was that way due to another illness or because I was overweight. I and the dr's always blamed my feeling faint, lightheaded and after running around the track 2x felt like I going to die and I had to laydown on the ground beside the track just in the nick of time before I fainted.I have gotten forgetful and in the past 6 months it seemed it was getting worse by the days. I couldn't walk straight while holding my head up looking straight ahead without getting very dizzy and almost fainting. I was told don't get stand up or turn around so fast, next they said it was vertigo. I was always telling my husband to turn up the ac then 2 years ago I changed 180 degrees. Now I can't even handle temps below 72 and the hotter the better, last sumer it got up to almost 100 I wasn't sweating and I found it very comfortable. My bus stop is only 10 min walk, in the past 2 months it has been almost impossible to do walk it. I started to isolate (I do't have car and hubby works cray hours) until I find a friend to take me anywhere just to gat out of it just for even a short time.
But I think I am preaching to the choir! How it happened was very quickly and unexpected. I dont remember everything but I guess I banged my head and when my husband dragged to a chair because all I wanted to do was sleep off i went.4 days later was the surger. I really apologize for such a long post.
I do have much more energy but need to take a break about every 2-3 hours to rest. I am like a kid I don't want to go to bed why waste this energy by sleeping? My focused energy came in spurts usually lasting 1x every once in a blue moon consistantly. Now it seems on even keel but I haven't learned to pace myself yet. All my beliefs and cues from my body are new different and I feel like a clean slate starting from scratch out in the middle of no where - untill I found this site! I hope to here from someone who not only can relate but informs, shares, and encorages me thru till I am able to pass this on back to someone I might help. Thanks I could write a whole chaper many feelings, beliefs, questions, and expectations. Looking forward to reading any feedback. Bye










2 Comments

Welcome, Laura

by Wannabe - 2009-11-11 07:11:16

Welcome to this club, Laura. Delighted to hear you're feeling an improvement in your wellbeing already from the pacemaker. May you go from strength to strength. You've come to the right place for encouragement, help and advice. You're not on your own now. All of us have felt as you do just now, so early in your recovery process. Give yourself time and let your body heal at its own pace. The mental adjustment to the fact of having a pacer will follow if you try not to hasten the process.

Take care of yourself and, again, welcome to the Pacemaker Club (original home of the Pacer Chicks - Remember! You Heard It Here First)! Love, Sheila

Nightmares

by Laura P - 2009-11-11 11:11:22

Hi everyone
Wanabae, glad to know that I really am not alone even while alone physical. I just woke up in panic and was unable to move out from under the covers, I started to have an anxiety attack but thought maybe something is wrong with my pm. Tried to call for hubby in next room but he couldn't hear me thru the door so I felt aroud for cell phone but panci grew. I couldn't use my right arm due to the night sling. He came in a few seconds later because he heard me crying. He helped me with my attack and let me talk about a nightmare which I had no memory of just the body reaction. I have had 4 nightmares since the surgury ( I havn/t had them this bad for a long time) what gives? Has anyone else had this happen to them after surgury as well? I almost feel infantile and very foolish to ask it.

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