PM Interrogation

Thank you...

by verne8 - 2019-04-08 21:00:15

I appreciate all responses. They are acts of kindness. Today happens to be my 70th birthday. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic disorder since I was 27. Five generations of my family have as well. I have seen, and still see, excellent therapists. I've counseled people for many years with this disorder.

Unfortunately, there are two kinds of anxiety/panic disorder. They are called endogenous and indogenous. Endogenous is, for example, fear of flying or public speaking. Those are easily overcome. Indogenous is a chemical misfiring in the brain that can be managed with medication. My problem is I can't tolerate any of the medications. So...just as a person with epilepsy can't train themselves not to have seizures I can't train myself not to have panic attacks. I have come a very long way in 43 years but there are times that even the best of training and physical care can't overcome something that is not controllable with even the greatest desire to "want to".

I appreciate the reminder to pull out all the "tricks" I've learned tomorrow to help make the appointment less unpleasant. Thanks so much.

Can you go to the office?

by Hoser - 2019-04-08 21:42:33

At least one of my interrogations out of four per year is onsite in the doctor’s office.

Could you perhaps do all of yours there to alleviate your anxiety?

Face plant?

by AgentX86 - 2019-04-08 23:21:43

Are you saying that you feel the interrogation and it upsets you, or that just being there triggers your anxiety?  If it's the former, then you aren't alone.  It's perfectly normal to nearly pass out when they do a "dependency test", if you're dependent (not a lot of information here).  It feels awful but knowing it's coming (they always remind me about the fun that we're abour to have) makes it easier, at least for me. 

Office/Face Plant

by verne8 - 2019-04-09 09:18:59

I go to the office for all of my interrogations. Thank you for the thought.

Oh, it is most definitely "I'm going to pass out" physically feeling...not anxiety. Now the anxiety comes before and after but the feeling is quite real and the doctor knows it. Oddly, I'm not terribly dependent on my PM. Oh well...it will be in about an hour so it will be what it will be...ugh.

Thank you all for the support!!!!!!!

Not dependent

by AgentX86 - 2019-04-09 10:55:38

If you're not dependent, I'm not sure what it could be. The dependence test runs the PM rate down to 30bpm to see if the heart takes over (junctional rhythm or ectopics). Mine doesn't, so it feels really bad, like the bottom falling out and I'm going to pass out (that's why they only test down to 30bpm). The other stuff doesn't bother me much.

Well, apparently...

by verne8 - 2019-04-09 12:47:27

Over time I've become more dependent. I think he said atrial is 20% and ventricular is 100%. I am not sure what that means. I'm guessing it means that my ventricles are dependent 100% of the time??????????

It wasn't as miserable as it usually is and I'm very grateful for that. I lost weight. My PM gained 2 years of battery life and there were no "faults" in the last 6 months. So...I'm well pleased. Back to the exercise bike and walking. I think, at this rate, with 13 years left on  my PM it will outlive me...I HOPE! I don't EVER want to have another battery change. THAT was a nightmare. Thank you all.

About feeling it and fearing it. They aren't the same thing.

by Gotrhythm - 2019-04-09 16:15:02

You are not alone in feeling the interrogation. I feel it too and it feels awful! Yes they are checking to see if your heart will beat on it's own, but being paced 100% does not neccessaryily mean your heart can no longer beat on its own. Over time the heart becomes "lazy" and it can take a while for the heart to realize it's on its own and get with the program. Before I understood what was happening, the whole interrogation process had a horror-movie quality for me. 

So the terrible feeling isn't helped by being over-anxious, but I can assure you it's not being caused by your anxiety disorder.

I agree with Swangirl that some cognitive training could teach you to do what the rest of us do--we buck up, take a deep breath, and remember that it will be over in seconds. Like Agent86, I also ask to be warned since it helps me to know when it's coming.

But you're not open to changing you how think, and it's your life. You can do it any way you want to. No matter how terrible the feelings of anxiety, you have somehow lived with them for your entire life. You must be doing something right if you have already survived 70 years. No interrogation to date has killed you. I'm confident that you'll make it through this interrogation too.

Changing Mind-Set

by verne8 - 2019-04-09 16:37:42

Thank you, GotRhythm!

First, I am very open to changing my mindset. I see a therapist regularly and I will never stop working on improving my quality of life physically, emotionally or spiritually. My reply to Swangirl was just explaining that in some cases it is easier to overcome anxiety than others. Except in extreme cases, and for me these interrogations are an extreme case, I do fairly well compared to how I did years ago.

Second, I've had a really excellent clinician as a cardiologist for the 6 years that I have had my PM. I feel sure that, with divine help, that man saved my life. He's pretty amazing. However, he's nearly 80 (doesn't look or act a day over 60) and he's not the most approachable person when it comes to explaining things.

Today was my last visit with him since he will be retiring. The doctor in that same practice I've chosen is also outstanding and very approachable. I'm sure once I understand what is going on I'll do a lot better too. What I've never been able to get out of my current doctor is, "What if  during interrogation, when you have my heart rate down to the 30 range, suddenly the programmer just dies...what happens? Do my settings return to where they were or stay at 30 where I keel over?" I've never gotten a straight answer out of him. I even called Boston Scientific and their reply was "that can't happen". Well, I am sorry but machines are machines and yes, they CAN just suddenly fail.

I'm very sorry you also feel unpleasant AND it helps to know I'm not the only one.

That can't happen...

by AgentX86 - 2019-04-09 23:28:59

Sure it can and you can also get struck by lighning while sitting in the office, too.  They're equally likely.  Assuming that the worst possible thing can happen at every moment, even if the odds are lower than hitting the PowerBall, isn't a way to live a life. Yeah, shit can happen and, really it already has to all of us.  No need to search for more things to worry about.

Interrogation

by Grateful Heart - 2019-04-10 00:57:51

I can feel it too.  It's not comfortable but it's over before long.

Ask your doctor if you could have a magic box....a Latitude monitor.  That's the name for the Boston Scientific monitor.  Then you would only go in the office for an interrogation once a year. 

I would trade places with you if I could.  I don't like this magic box and would prefer to go into the office for interrogations.  For 10 years I would ask my wonderful nurse questions because I am always interested in learning more.  She knew me.  I would get a copy of the printout everytime without needing to ask.  I enjoy personal interaction with people. 

I have a new device now and with it....the magic box.  You can't have a conversation or ask questions about your device with a plastic box.

You know what they say.....the grass is always greener.  That may work for you.  Just be sure that is what you want.

Grateful Heart  

Oh Grateful Heart...

by verne8 - 2019-04-10 09:19:56

...you are always SO kind. Thank you. I do have a Latitude...always have. Twice a year they have it interrogate my heart while I'm sleeping (in between appointments). Which, I have to say, I find creepy...LOL! I don't know they've done it till I get the letter in the mail a week or so later. The rest of the time? It just sits there being one more thing to dust. I still have to go in every 6 months.

It is what it is. And, for now, it is over. I probably just needed a little hand holding and you never fail to step up to the plate for everyone to do just that. Thank you.

I feel it

by dwelch - 2019-04-12 01:38:36

I definitely feel the tests, always have.  Have had pacers for over 30 years, am on number five.  countless nurses and techs.  I used to get angry about it, I wish I had a button that made you feel bad, cant you warn me before you do that.   More recently the techs at the current office do warn me.

I dont get upset about it anymore, not because they are warning me because why bother.  there is a test that gets you breathing harder one that feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest, but its all fine.  If you are able to see the screen and the tech/nurse it is a test button the test only runs while they have their finger or stylus on the button, as soon as they remove it the test stops, for example if you start to lean over or yell at them or whatever.  

Always get a printout of the report.  On that report/summery it shows the before and after settings and will indicate if any have changed.  If they have changed ask the doc when (s)he comes in.  normally there isnt a reason to change.

My experience has mostly been, the anxiety of the when are they going to push the button, combined with the racing heart then stopping heart feeling, those dont settle by the end of the interrogation and I am still feeling strange but it is at that point mental not physical.

Bottom line is you are not alone in any physical feeling you might get from the test, and you are not alone in any anxiety you have before, during, or after the test.  It is not uncommon.

I choose not to have the at home box, so I go in every 6 months, will see what they do with me when we get to the end of this one when in the old days I would use the box that you set your phone on and it makes a modem sound.  They would do that in between visits.   I have quite a few years before that...

So over 30 years, 5 devices that is well over 30 interrogations as a a fair amount were twice a year, so probably upwards of 40 interrogations.

Honestly now my biggest anxiety is the "I would like my copy of the report" while they are printing it out for the doc.  One tech wasnt going to give it to me and had me sign a release, its my data dammit they need to ask me for it not the other way around.  The doc said it was fine.  that tech now gives it to me without a fuss.  But one of these days I expect there to be a battle.  I kept my first three devices, number four there was no way I could manage to get it so I dont expect to be able to get the rest of them either.  

Bottom line they arent going to put you at risk, there would be countless posts about that if they did and even then that would be the less than a thousanth of a percent of folks with problems complaining.  the machine and the doc/tech will stop the test, you will catch up and recover.  It DOES feel strange when they are doing some of the tests, racing heart rate and heavy breathing, followed by the elephant on your chest, cant breath, all perfectly normal, once a twice a year a few seconds of each, done.

Its like lifting up the couch to look under it as soon as you let go it crashes to the ground.  The test is only running while they are forcing it as soon as they let go your pacer bounces back to normal.

dwelch---You are a GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!

by verne8 - 2019-04-12 09:21:17

Thank you x a zillion!!! You helped me feel "normal" and not a wimp that just needs to get over myself. I'm VERY grateful you took that much time to care. Bless you abundantly! Knowledge is power and that is what you gave me. Not in a poor, poor, pitiful me way but in my 70 years I've faced enough condemnation and I can guarantee, it never helps. Explanations? They help A LOT!  :-)