Well - That's me done!

I have been in hospital for five days after being admitted via A&E / ER.

I had a feeling of a heavy weight on my chest and started to find it difficult to breathe. I was given GTN and aspirin and the weight disappeared overnight.

I have been moved to the coronary care unit after several tests, all of them looking at my heart. They found nothing out of the ordinary that they did not already know about. It was not a heart attack.

I am now being assessed for possible heart transplant, heart and lung transplant or LVAD device.

I have been started on a milrinone drip which I will be on for a few days before having a right heart catheter and comparing it with the previous one I had at the start of February.

I have been told that the only way this drip will be coming out after surgery is if I show no signs of improvement from the catheter. So either way I am screwed.

I am only 30 but I feel like the end is already near. 

10 Comments

Being poorly

by Selwyn - 2020-07-08 12:29:30

 Stan, we all hope for the best for you, as you should. It is always difficult not to think of the worst when we are poorly. In fact, I find I can think of just about everything  that is worse than the actual reality when it comes down to being ill. It is difficult not to think ahead, however, experience shows that reality is never as bad as you have imagined. 

It is often best to take one little stage of reality at a time. Without God like powers it is difficult to see the future. Sometimes having a distraction for the mind has something to commend it as this stops the mind from wandering. 

I actually play table-tennis with a heart transplant recipient ( he has had a new heart for some years). He is fit and well ( and went to the world transplant games in Malaya not so long ago). Both he and I have been shielding over this `Covid pandemic. I also looked after a lad with a new liver for over 20 years and as far as I know is still getting on with life. 

I hope the doctors can fix you up and you can have some quality of life. Sometimes we have to set new priorities because of our health. As a school kid I played chess against  a young man with muscular dystrophy, wheel chair bound and with little hand movment. We had some enjoyable games. No marathon running for him!  Getting through the day with some enjoyment may be more productive than  predicting the future. 

We all will be routing for your well being. 

With best wishes.

 

You are too young to give up the fight

by Gemita - 2020-07-08 12:31:22

Dear Stan,

What can I say, you are much too young for any of this and your doctors know this only too well and will do everything in their power to try to help you.  If you can keep your spirits up for a little while longer and not feel all is lost, you will save precious energy, energy that you need to help your body get through this.

I send my best wishes to you and to your family and hope that your medical team will find the best treatment for you so that you can look forward to some more quality life ahead.  While you have life, cling to it.  It is much too precious to let it slip through your fingers without a fight.  Keep strong and I hope to hear better news from you very soon.

Gemita

 

Thank You

by Stan Da Man - 2020-07-09 04:57:09

Thanks guys. I will try to fight this with everything I have. I miss my family so much - they can't visit me due to Covid restrictions. 

Sending best wishes

by _Claire_ - 2020-07-09 11:36:21

I don't have anything to say that will help. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you! Please don't give up. I send you my very best wishes and pray that you get the best treatment to give you many more years ahead :)

Praying for you!

by arent80 - 2020-07-09 18:33:24

Keeping you in my prayers. I know this must be extremely tough right now. Sending you well wishes and positive vibes. May god bless you and keep you safe!

Stan da man

by Aberdeen - 2020-07-10 11:43:27

Don’t lose hope! You are young , try to stay positive. I am praying that a solution is found for you.

Thank You Everyone

by Stan Da Man - 2020-07-10 14:23:32

The consultant explained to me this morning about what is going to happen. I am on this drip until they do the catheter. When they deem me ready, they will perform the op and compare the results to my previous catheter in February. Based on this, the cardiology and transplant teams will meet and make a decision to see if I am eligible for a heart transplant, heart and lung transplant or LVAD mechanical pump. If I am eligible, they would deem me urgent meaning I wouldn't be able to leave the hospital until a match is found. If they deem I am not eligible, then they will switch up my meds to try and keep me in the best condition for as long as possible. I would then be allowed to leave.

I really hope there is an answer. I'm preparing myself for the worst but I'm still hopeful that something can be done. I'm not an emotional person but everyday in the hospital, I've been going to the bathroom to have a little cry about how messed up this situation is. I married my beautfiul wife two years ago and to think it might be over already so soon just completely breaks me. 

When you feel like chatting we are here

by Gemita - 2020-07-10 15:26:18

Hello Stan,

It shouldn't be long now before you know the way ahead.  

I too hope there is an answer and that you will be eligible for one of these options or the LVAD option while you wait for a transplant.

I hope your beautiful wife has been allowed in to see you Stan.  Don't look too far ahead.  All any of us can do is to live in the present and no one can take that away from you

Gemita

Keep the faith

by sugdaro2005 - 2020-07-20 05:10:11

I pray everything goes great for you. Stay positive. You are young and have a great life to look forward too.

Stan da man

by Aberdeen - 2020-07-27 16:12:16

How are you getting on? I was thinking about you.I hope you are getting a solution.

You know you're wired when...

Bad hair days can be blamed on your device shorting out.

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