Appointments

Husband

by AgentX86 - 2023-01-04 01:02:43

Hi Millie,

I don't think it has anything to do with misogyny.  When my wife comes along it's the same thing.  I think it's more that there are two asking questions that there isn't any dead air for them to make their exit.  This isn't only a cardiac thing, either.  I found the same with orthopedic surgeons.  OTOH, maybe my wife is just that scary.  😁  She isn't afraid to go all momma-bear if there is half a reason.  I'm much more introverted (believe it or not).

Millie

by Gemita - 2023-01-04 06:36:16

Millie, thank you for your kind wishes.  I may take someone with me but it won’t be my husband who would treat the occasion more as a “social” event which would certainly break the ice but not return much in the way of a treatment plan. 

Hubby is very warm hearted and is a wonderful companion when he is well but he doesn’t do illness and would try to direct the conversation to more exciting things.

Taking a friend

by Lavender - 2023-01-04 10:02:34

I used to take my boyfriend along until the time my cardiologist treated me as a child, looked past me and told my guy to just smack me in the head if I get too anxious. 😵‍💫😡BF would be history if he ever followed that crazy advice and didn't even crack a smile when she said it. We were both flabbergasted!

I think she thought I was weak and she was "coparenting" with him. I never took him again and also let her know that I am not anxious-had valid concerns and would be happy to switch practices if she felt she and I weren't a good match. She backed right down, apologized, and hasn't treated me like that again. 

I do think an extra set of ears might be helpful but it depends on who it is. I'm perfectly capable of communicating my situation to a medical professional and understanding their response.

I do think it would be helpful to record what they say, though, and my boyfriend has had permission from his healthcare provider in the past to do so. I usually make notes the minute I am back in my car as to what they said. I do read their online reports as well but they leave out a lot🤔

Lavender and Angry Sparrow

by Gemita - 2023-01-04 15:30:19

Hi Lavender and Angry Sparrow, 

I will have a think about who to take with me, either a family member or a friend.  Someone who will sit quietly and listen and make notes if possible.  My hospital has relaxed the rules on Covid so I can be accompanied now.

Yes I once recorded an appointment with my husband’s Pacemaker Clinic Technician when she explained that because of his near syncope episodes, she would slightly adjust his Right Ventricle Voltage Threshold Output to give a better safety margin and more certainty of consistently capturing his heart and making it beat.  She could see we were struggling to understand what she was talking about in those early days (and still do), so she suggested we record her answer and play it back several times until we understood.  I found this so helpful and an excellent way to learn.

I won’t of course go in to my appointment with my recorder ready, at least not on my first visit, but I might ask about having better access to my hospital records generally, rather than having to keep requesting copies of reports formally which can take months to arrive in the post.

What an unprofessional comment from your cardiologist Lavender, not something you would expect and I am very glad you stood up to her. 

"told my guy to just smack me in the head"

by AgentX86 - 2023-01-05 00:33:22

My cardiologist has told us much the same many times but he wasn't ny moe serious than my wife and I telling each other much the same.  It just part of our "normal" conversation. People who don't know us would think we're always picking on each other.  No, we're just playing word/punny/mind games.  We wouldn't have lasted 51+ years by playing it straight. Too boring.  My cardiologist has known us long enough to lighten it up unless it's serious time.  Fortunately everythig is pretty level.

The only time in the past six months I've been where masks were mandatory (anywhere) was at a hospital a clouple of weeks ago.  Visitors have been allowed in hospitals for at least 18 months.

Timing

by Lavender - 2023-01-05 09:36:11

AgentX86, my pcp is a lighthearted man who has a good nature. He has joked with me often. My cardiologist is acid tongued. She's excellent clinically and I am grateful when she's in the hospital demanding the best room and care for me, overseeing every aspect, standing over during my echocardiogram.
 

However, the day she did said that smartazz comment was my first in-office check after my device was implanted. I asked a few questions that most people ask after getting a surprise pacemaker: how will this affect my lifestyle, how does it affect my longevity?  She acted like I was hysterically freaked-out-anxious. She said she was "trying to talk me off the ledge."

A simple answer from her... that my lifestyle wasn't going to be affected much at all AND my lifespan is going to be the same as any other human being...was all I needed to hear. I was traumatized from a near death experience that led to an unexpected emergency trip to the hospital;  I walked out with a device that I knew little to nothing about. 
 

Any good comedienne knows that timing is everything. Hers was waaaay off.

No one is wearing masks much here except in the hospital or nursing homes. I'm still wearing it in crowded spaces and stores, to doctors and the optometrist even though they aren't wearing masks.

 We haven't had Covid. We were at several gatherings over Christmas. At one gathering, two days later, five people tested positive for covid. We didn't. We did get a supply of test kits on hand. If it happens so be it. I have to visit my mom to feed her in a nursing home that has at least one active case of covid all the time. Miraculously mom hasn't caught it. I'm used to masking from working in health care so it's no inconvenience to me to wear one to protect me and her.