Not a good year

As bad as last year was, I was hoping this year would be better. So far it hasn't work out that way. The year started out with the implantation of my pacemaker in January. That turned out OK as I was feeling better after years of fighting almost constant AF. Spring arrived and there was still hope for a good year.

Then May came and I had my annual CT scan to check on the cancer I had so far beaten for 9 years. Well, my luck ran out and a mass was discover in almost the exact same spot of my previous tumor. Month and a half later another CT scan showed growth in the mass. Time to schedule a biopsy to make sure of what it is.

I do water aerobics and on the 9th of Aug I came home and started having the worst headache of my life. Took a couple of acetaminophen thinking it would eventually go away. It didn't. It only got worst. I took my blood pressure and it was through the roof. Called my daughter to take me to the ER. After a couple of minute my memory goes blank. Turns out I had a subdural hematoma (brain bleed) and had emergency surgery (craniotomy). Why do they only shave half your head? Anyway, the cause was the blood thinners I take. In my case that is apoxaban (Eliquis). Brain bleeds are actually listed in the possible side effects. Doing well now. Just tired most of the time and shaved all my hair off.

You would think that would be enough. However, I had the biopsy (finally) last week and it confirmed what I thought. My cancer is back. Now I am looking at a third surgery this year. Now I can't wait for 2024 and hopefully a great year.

OK, I'm done with my pity-party. Thanks for hearing me out. I'll go back in  my corner and color.

7 Comments

Your share

by Good Dog - 2023-10-01 21:49:49

Yes, you have certainly had your share of bad luck and tough times! It is time for it to turn-around for you! CT's can be a curse and a blessing. I can only imagine how dissapointing and worrying it was to find the mass. Although, it is good that they found it and are removing it. I truly love the way you ended your message so positively: "Now I can't wait for 2024 and hopefully a great year".

Yes, you deserve a great year. You really do! Just know that it can and will get better! I am pulling for you and I am sure that many more here will do the same! Hang in there!

I wish you nothing but the best in 2024 and beyond!

Sincerely,

Dave

Good Dog

by Aristocat - 2023-10-01 22:10:36

Thank you for the kind words. I've beaten every health issue so far in my life and I don't plan on losing any time soon.

Hugs❤️‍🩹

by Lavender - 2023-10-01 22:49:13

I'm sorry to hear how things are unfolding. You're such a good guy. You have had a lot on your plate, and with caring for your wife, I think perhaps it's time to address your own needs too. I'm with Dave, they found the cancer. Now you can fight back again. It isn't sneaking up on you.  I've had CT Scans and am always glad they're looking around. Once you know the diagnosis, it can be tackled. 
 

You must be tired of medical issues. I know sometimes I just don't want to see another dr appointment on my calendar. 
 

May God send peace, comfort and healing. May He guide your medical team through the journey. May you be richly blessed. Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage but you do sound determined to get through it all with a great outcome. 🍁

My son is a cop. He shaves his head by choice. 😉

Control

by Penguin - 2023-10-02 06:01:23

It certainly has been a terrible year for you medically. I'd be reeling from it in your shoes, but you seem to be meeting it 'head on' and facing up to it. That's a great strength and takes back a bit of control by 'owning it'. Talking about it on here and sharing your story is valuable too.  I hope you can find others who relate to your experiences on here and bring comfort and empathy. 

Caring for your wife whilst trying to care for yourself is a situation that too many people have to face and somehow cope with.  I hope that you can find someone or some way or other to relieve the pressure of looking after someone else whilst recovering yourself.  Putting yourself first and meeting your own needs may be tricky otherwise as I'm sure you already know.

I wish you all the best and continued strength going forwards. 

Best Wishes

You can win this battle too

by Gemita - 2023-10-02 07:45:37

Aristocat,  you sound so strong, so positive and I think your cancer will have a hard time doing battle with you.  

I know as a cancer sufferer and survivor that the real battle initially is with our thoughts.  Sometimes the fear and anxiety can really build out of all proportion to the actual disease present and if we can keep some control and positive thoughts going, as you are clearly doing, we will have a much better chance of a successful outcome. 

I am so sorry to hear about your brain bleed too while on Apixaban which is one of the safest oral anticoagulants out there apparently.  I am taking Edoxaban 30 mg low dose because of my low body weight (under 60 kgs).  What do they intend to do about AF stroke protection now Aristocat?  It is a dilemma I know.  

Good luck with your cancer surgery.  I hope your cancer will be confined to the mass and can be eliminated and that you will have a better year ahead.   Please keep in touch and I do wish you well

Thank you and here comes the Watchman

by Aristocat - 2023-10-02 20:22:02

Lavender (currently my favorite color), Penguin and Gemita, thank you for your kind and supportive words. It means a lot to me.

Gemita, the current plan of attack is probably implanting a Watchman device. That isn't finalized but being back on Apixaban is scaring the hell out of me. I'm taking the same dose as before. Researching the Watchman I've come to the conclusion that the implant is probably the best solution for me. I'll still have to take the Apixaban for a short time before and after the implant. Then, just an aspirin. I'm waiting for the doctor to call me for a discussion about it. Fortunately, he has done a lot of them. The real irony in all this is my mother was a Christian Scientist. Go figure.....

I can imagine your concerns being back on Apixaban

by Gemita - 2023-10-03 03:26:10

Aristocat, The Watchman device seems to be a possible option, unless they suggest a lower dose of Apixaban, 2 x 2.5 mg daily?  I would speak to a doctor in your Anticoagulation Clinic for an urgent opinion based on your weight, age and health conditions.  My husband had urinary bleeds on full dose Apixaban, 2 x 5 mg daily.  He was offered lower dose Apixaban 2 x 2.5 mg daily or lower dose 30 mg once daily Edoxaban due to his age (over 80) and due to poor kidney function.  We chose Edoxaban and he has been okay on this since 2018.  No bleeds at all and no strokes.   He had several strokes in the past prior to starting anticoagulants, likely due to undiagnosed AF, so lower dose Edoxaban has been very protective and a good choice for him.

Due to your other health conditions and of course after a serious bleed, a balance has to be sought to help keep you safe and I can understand your real concerns going back on Apixaban, especially at the same dose that triggered your bleed.  Personally, I would question whether this is the safest approach. Your first priority surely has to be to prevent this from ever happening again.  

Sometimes lower doses of an anticoagulant, especially after a serious bleed, can also be protective in our battle to achieve AF stroke protection.  Stopping Apixaban altogether with AF would of course be dangerous, but a lower dose of Apixaban, in my opinion, might be a safer option, unless the therapeutic dose of 2 x 5 mg is absolutely needed in preparation for any Watchman Device implant procedure?  I too have read that we need to be on anticoagulants for a period of time before and after the Watchman procedure.

I wonder what your mother would tell you to do, bless her?  

You know you're wired when...

You need to be re-booted each morning.

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Life does not stop with a pacemaker, even though it caught me off guard.